Media Fast

Media Fast – Sunday, October 10. (Braindump)

Before fasting i was worried about having to do it. I don’t like not being able to check my phone og my computer, especially my phone.

As I started out with my fasting I decided to really try and not look on either my phone or my computer and a I turned out I wasn’t that difficult. But I think a lot of it has to do with several things coming together. First of all I was not home alone that Sunday; Thomas by boyfriends was visiting and could keep me company while fasting. Second my mother didn’t call or text me that day, I would have been very difficult if not impossible not to reply to her if she had tried to reach me, as I have recently moved from Copenhagen to Aarhus, even further away from my parents who life in the south Zealand, and I would not want to worry her by not replying, and I know she would get worried if she didn’t hear back from me. Third, it was a Sunday (could have been a Saturday as well) but not during the week as I have many school obligations and homework plus volunteer work at an online magazine which makes it impossible for me not to be online or on my phone. So it is really not something I could do every day, and I felt like I had to do a lot of planning up to the fasting, so it would be possible for me to not go online – preparations like checking my online schedule for changes, during the homework that required me to go online, talk to my mother on the phone, as any one of these could make me break my fast if they appeared during the day.

Throughout the day I only look at my phone twice, once in the morning to get the time and once before I went to sleep to set my alarm clock, and even though I noticed notifications and emails I didn’t check them, but I felt very excited to wake up the next day and see what I have missed during my fast.

vLog:

After having fasted from my media use, I was supposed to do a vlog reflecting on this fast, as part of an assignment. But, after having done a vlog on reflection on my media tracking, I decided not to do a vlog for this part of th research of my media use. My experience with the first vlog made me aware of the fact that I don’t get any new information from the vlog, other than the information already written down. I prefer writing as I gives me time to think about and edit me reflections, having to do a vlog for the tracking part I found that I had to do a manuscript (and practice it) before during the actual vlog. I felt very uncomfortable being videotaped (and knowing that video would be made public on youtube for the world to see) and that anxiety overshadowed the data I would gain from the log. The observation I did while doing the vlog was the preparations before the actual log, being aware of everything present (visible) in the shot and that those items will affect other peoples view on me (therefore I edited them so that they would reflect me in a way I found suiting, fx. Making the bed), and I did a manuscript of the vlog – not a psychical manuscript but a mental one, as the vlog was very short, only a couple of minutes, but I created this manuscript in my head, going over it several times of what the vlog would contain and in which order, then I taped it several times before feeling comfortable publishing it, all though I would have been most comfortable only posting a written log and not a videotaped one. I felt that I would have to do all the same things again, if I had to do another vlog, and as I felt like it was more of a duty than a gain for me, I chose this time to express myself with written words instead of a video (as the things I actually said on the vlog the last time, was ‘taken/manuscripted’ from already written down words, they were not natural coming from whatever I felt or thought in the moment, but were carefully selected and manuscripted words). 

Media Fast:

Sunday, October 10th, 2013

11.08

I click on my phone to see the time ( I don’t have a clock other than on my phone and computer à well, I do have a small watch, but I didn’t feel like finding it in my closet in order to just check the time).

I see a notification on Facebook, but not what it says, I think that it is probably from my friend Andrea, as we started a conversation on FB yesterday. I don’t read it, I decided not to check mt phone or my computer the entire day as part of my media fasting.

Thomas is lying next to me and browsing through his phone (FB, Instagram etc. I would imagine), and I am trying not to look at his phone as I would like to fast entirely from media this day.

Ca. 15.00

Thomas and I are going out and I deliberately leave my phone at home, so I will not be able to check if for a while (and I know that Thomas has got his phone with him, in case something happens were we need to use the phone, so this creates a sort of safety net for me).

21.45

I haven’t looked at my phone or my computer the entire day, but I have to set the alarm clock for tomorrow morning, so I will have to break the fast now in order to do it.

While setting the alarm clock I noticed both FB notifications and several emails but I didn’t check them even though I wanted to.

Having to fast from media hasn’t been as difficult as I expected – but I think a lot of it has to do with it being a Sunday, as I would not be able not to check my phone and computer during a busy week with school obligations etc.

Still I can’t wait to end my fast tomorrow and get up to date with everything I missed today.

Videolog of Media Use

Today i had to make a video reflecting on my media use, after having tracked it for some time.
I felt some anxiety having to do a video of myself and posting it on youtube, making it public for everyone to see. In order to do the actual video I felt like there was a lot of preparation to do. As I felt the video where reflecting me as a person, I had to make the surroundings represent me as well (or at least the parts that would be visible in the video). So I made my bed, that is present in the background, I stacked several books on top of each other so that the angle and height of the video would frame my face.

I did my hair and make-up, as I would going out in the public where I would engage with other people and I dressed in clothes I felt represented my personality, a gray t-shirt expressing my laid back and relaxed attitude (even though I was quite anxious to do this video). Before I started taping I made a sort of agenda in my head, what I would talk about and in what order – so that I would not be stunned for conversation. I also made some preparation having to speak English in the video, which is not my first language and even though I feel quite comfortable speaking English in general, I felt like I was on display having to perform my very best, knowing that the entire world could watch (they probably won’t, why would they care who I am and what I have to say?). I decided to talk about my anxieties doing this video as an introduction, rather than just talking about my reflections on my media use. Even though this video shouldn’t be that long, I feel like I can better express myself writing my thought down, that just speaking them. It is easier for me to think and reflect about what I just said, if it is written and not spoken. And having to do this video I didn’t feel that anything new would come out, as my focus was doing the actual video and not so much its content.

The video is accessible here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DqbaA0LD8Q

Notes from my Media Tracking

October 24, 2013

9:12 Computer

I turn on my computer (want to check mails, facebook etc. – my usual sites).

I forgot the internet cable and there is no acces.

Hotmail:

Deletes 2 mails (magazine spam; trying to sell me stuff – from a subscription to the magazine’s news).

Facebook:

Thomas sent me a PM with a link to a student job, this links to another facebook page (the one of the company).

è Java update interrupts me (I won’t install the new update because there has been some issues with java and use of NemId, I won’t risk not being able to access NemId, until im sure the problems has been fixed) – I press “cancel”

(back to FB) I scroll down, until where I left of yesterday, nothing much catches my attention.

I answer Thomas’ message; im not sure the job is for me, it does not build on my strongest competencies (job job is about Business Development).

LinkedIn:

A new notification: some CEO I don’t know viewed my profile (I sometimes wonder what catches their interest in my profile, is it the headline or my profile picture? Very little information about me is givin (the headline and my picture) until they visit my actual site.

I watch the “People you may know” to see if any acquaintances has got a profile there (on LinkedIn).

There are some people I know of from when I lived I Fensmark/Naestved, but don’t really talk to, so I don’t add them to my connection (I didn’t really talk that much to them when I lived there either). And there are people I think I have seen before (on campus) but i don’t know them either, so I won’t add them.

10:16 Computer Facebook

Quick browse through.

A friend of mine has got a girlfriend and changed his status to “in a relationship” on Facebook. With the announcement on FB there is also a picture of the girl attached (her profile picture). I look at this for a while. She is pretty. It’s a staged picture (not pic-of-the-moment), it is black and white, her hair and make-up is all done and she does a sort of pose on the pic. (Why do this appeal to med?)

Another friend has “liked” a person’s profile picture, I stop at this too. She is also pretty (the girl on the profile picture, I don’t know her). This is less staged than the picture before. But still a bit staged. (her hair and make-up is done and she is posing towards the camera, but I don’t believe the photo has been edited afterwards regarding to filters, colors etc.)

15:54 Computer Facebook (Hotmail)

I get a mail regarding comments on a FB group, that someone has posted in the group (I am alarmed by this on a sound on my iphone) – I read and delete the mail and go to FB.

Sara and Jacob (classmates) has posted on our class group, regarding an upcoming Christmas Party. They write what different food they will bring and I feel compelled to answer as well (to participate by announcing what I will bring). I guess both for the sake of letting them know that I have read their posts and that I want to contribute too, by telling what I will bring. But also selecting a type of food (from the list of choices posted in the event) before all of them are taken and I am left with whatever is left (I want to have some control over the situation by choosing while there is still many different types to choose from, but still I did not choose as the first person, as I did not know when it was acceptable to make this choice or to start delegating these tasks to everyone, I felt more comfortable making this choice as others already had done the same thing, thereby saying it was okay for me, and others, to choose as well).

è I guess this says something about me needing the acceptance of others before making my own choices. By choosing after others had done it as well, I was not concerned that my actions would be perceived negatively (they had already okay’ed the action).

Tracking Plan of Media Use

Tracking plan

I have developed this plan in order to organize the data I will be collecting, regarding my media use. This plan will function as a guideline and helpful tool in order to collect a great amount of data that I will use later, in my research project.

I plan to track my media use on my computer and on my iphone, as these are the devices I use every single day, and several times a day.

Weekly data collecting:

I will do weekly braindumps regarding my media use. Every braindump will contain a specific topic or area of my media use, in order to get a broad view on my use of different media.

Specific data collecting:

-                                 Thursday 24. Of October

I plan to videotape my media use on my computer, in the morning of Thursday 24. Of October, as I spend the most coherent time on my computer (and on the internet) in the morning when I first turn on my computer (here I usually have to review selected sites and get up to date). My usual sites will consist of Facebook and Hotmail, perhaps also gmail and linkedin, and whatever other sites I may be compelled to visit at this point.

(I normally check Facebook and Hotmail on my iphone when I first wake up, but I will not do this at this specific date, as I want to videotape my ‘first meeting’ on this day, and I will use my iphone to videotape it, and therefore has to visit these sites the first time on my computer).

Steps:

-          - First I will videotape my use of media in the morning. I will do what I normally do, ad try not to be effected by the video recording my use. I will note the time and period for my media use this specific day.

-          - I will have my research journal with my, writing down braindump (20 min) after the ‘first meeting’ has ended. I will write whatever comes to mind of feelings and thoughts of this meeting.

-           - Afterwards I will review the taped video of my media usage, and describe what I and seeing using condensed notes.

-         -  There after I will turn the condensed notes and the braindump in to thick description of this meeting.

-          -  And at last I will write my feelings and thoughts of this meeting I my journal.

The rest of the day, I will use my media journal to write both condensed notes and feelings after every media use (both usage on my computer and on my iphone).

At the end of the day, I will do a braindump of my media use that exact day (and write it in to thick description).

I plan to note the time for every media use during this day and the period of which I engage in media use.

-                                           Tuesday 29. Of October:

24 hour media fast: Today I plan to fast from my media use.

Meaning that I will (try) not to use any media throughout this day (from I wake up until I go to bed).

-         -  I will do a braindump in morning describing my feelings of not being able to use media for an entire day.

-          - Before I go to sleep, I will do another braindump reflecting on the day of fasting and what media use means in my every day life.

-          - Throughout the day I will note feelings and thoughts in my research journal, every time I feel compelled to use media. I will note time for these instances.

-          - If I fail to fast from media, I will note down the time for media use and what devices I used and what I used it for.

Facebook Usage

I started thinking about how i use Facebook in different settings. For instance at home – when I am alone at least- I can do pretty much everything on Facebook, write comments on other peoples photos or status updates, have a personnel conversation either on the chat or in the private message feature. I can take, edit and upload photos of myself or of things I find interesting or funny or weird. And I can look at other people’s Facebook pages, even people I am not friends with on Facebook or don’t know at all.

At home I feel free to do everything I want on Facebook, because no one is watching me and my interactions.

I take the train often because I just moved to Aarhus from Copenhagen, so many of my friends live there and my family lives on Zealand as well. When I take the train I always bring my computer so I have something to do, while sitting in the train for three hours. I often use Facebook here as well, but I have discovered that my use is very different and limited in comparison to my use at home. I would probably never upload pictures while sitting in the train, or at least not at myself. I would rarely look at other people’s Facebook pages or write private messages in this setting. I think this is because I feel like I am under surveillance while sitting in the train. I am in a public place, and strangers have the possibility to watch what I am doing, by looking at my screen. I feel uncomfortable by this, because i guess I feel like my Facebook use, or parts of it, is private. But way do I care if other people see what I am doing? Perhaps I think that they will think a certain (negative) way about me, if they watch my interaction. But why do I care if strangers, (who I will probably never see again) think negatively about me? Why is it so important to be to be perceived a certain way by others and that defines this certain way? And how does my use at Facebook reflect who I am and how I want to be perceived by others? I sometimes feel like there is a right way to use Facebook, and when I am not using Facebook the right way, I don’t want others to catch me doing this wrong use. But what is the right use of Facebook, how I it defined? Is it only me who feels like this or is there a common believe of a right way to use Facebook?

If I should try to define my view on a right way to use Facebook I guess I believe that it involves things like, being active, commenting and liking your friends posts, regularly post updates and photos yourselves, change your profile image often and definitely not stalk strangers or watch pages of people you don’t know.

That was just some thourghts on my Facebook use.

Over and out

- Thea 

Developing my Blog

Today I have spend some time editing the visual layout of my blog.
when I first created it, I was overwhelmed with all the things I could do to this blog,
so it was difficult selecting the right look for it.

Now, however, I have had some time thinking about it, and I really want the visual layout
for this blog, to represent the person that I am.
Therefore I have thoughtfully selected font style, colours and contrasts, in a way that I feel represent me.
Simple, strait lines and a bit imaginary.

Perhaps I will change the look again, once I have worked more with discovering how I represent my
identity online, which will be part of my Personal Research Project for the Digital Identity course.

Over and out.
-Thea

Building my Blog

Monday, september 23.

Today I have created my own blog.
This will function as a forum where I can write down my ideas, notes and notions of my every day life.

Creating this blog was part of my Digital Identity course, I am not quite sure of what we are going to do with this yet.
I am sort of confused in this class, that is not very structured as I'de like it to be. This challenge me and my work approach, as I am very comfortable with structure and rules when approaching a task.

I can't plan as much as I would like to, as I am not sure what to plan.

I will try to let my inner controlfreak go - a least for a while - and just go with it.
And hopefully, it will all make sence later on.


Over and out.

   -Thea